i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
