He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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