Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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