She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
