just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
