He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
