I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
