so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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