yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
