I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
