Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
