mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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