I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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