I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Holy shit dude........stairs
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
