Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
