Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
