Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
