i already hear my dad disowning me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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