singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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