So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
