I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I love having hate sex.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
