ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
