We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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