He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
