Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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