Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
