his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm having to shit out rocks
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
