he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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