The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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