I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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