i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize