This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
