Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize