I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
