How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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