hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
