It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
