okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize