girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
