My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
