break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
