Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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