Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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