she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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