So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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