it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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