so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize