that's an acceptable place to lick
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
