We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize