some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
