so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize