I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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