his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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