Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I am available for nakedness
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
