Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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