youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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