And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
