there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
