don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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